You are not you for long: Terrance Hayes poetry notecard
The story behind making an original letterpress poetry print of an excerpt by Terrance Hayes, from "Taffeta," So to Speak, Penguin Books.
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... You are not you for long.
I am not trying to change the world,
I am trying to change myself
so that the world will seem changed.
Terrance Hayes
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A new print for you! Not for Long by Terrance Hayes from the poem "Taffeta" in his book So to Speak. This print exists thanks to a year-long conversation and great collaboration with Seattle Arts & Lectures (SAL). I was invited to partner with their poetry series this year and we dreamed up this project for Terrance's reading a couple weeks ago, which also happened to be the final poetry event of the season.
I knew Terrance's name but I didn't know his work. So last summer I got every book of his the Seattle Public Library system had and I read, and read, and read. One thing that struck me about his work is the tightness of form. Every word feels fully considered, and the poems feel built in such a solid way. Like you could walk up a flight of stairs composed of his poems, or lean hard on them and be held.
Selecting the text is often the most difficult part of any project and this one was no different. There were many poems I loved and in the end I was torn between two excerpts. The first felt easier, more obvious. A sure bet. This one felt uncomfortable. More vulnerable. Less known. I almost talked myself out of sending both excerpts to the wonderful team at SAL but I thought shoot, what good's a collaboration if I only share what I feel sure of? So I took a deep breath and sent off both and got a resounding response from the entire staff: You are not you for long.
And goodness we aren't, are we? I'm a different person than when I started this project. A different person than when I printed it even and that was just a few weeks ago. I don't know what the last line means but I can feel it — I can feel the change in myself over a few decades. My teenage self would have scoffed at this excerpt. Thought, of course you can change the world. And you must! We must! But now the next line gives me some relief, permission to not achieve the impossible. And then the next line allows me to be me while also changing. The last line feels full circle, right? But I don't find it comforting. I think because of that word "seem." I don't want the world to seem changed, I want to be able to change myself and have that mean the world is changed. But I guess I'm old enough to recognize the hubris of that. When I was younger I knew better. Thought I knew better. Now I wonder a lot more and know so much less.
I'm grateful to have gotten to share so many great poetry moments this season with SAL and the literary community they support and connect here in Seattle. And gosh Terrance was a delight to experience in person, from his excitement about all the different poets on Expedition's roster (he went home with a big fistful of prints!) to his exhortation that process is probably all we need to work toward. That writing (making work) at all is something to be grateful for, that the product is less important, and as long as you're making you're deep in the work that needs doing.
I'm grateful for you too and happy to offer up Not for Long today. Wishing you steady grounding in whatever ways you're changing.
About Terrance Hayes
Terrence Hayes is a poet, editor, and professor. He served as the 2017-2018 poetry editor for New York Times Magazine and taught at Carnegie Mellon University and the University of Pittsburgh, as well as in Japan, before becoming a distinguished Silver Professor of English at New York University. You can find his website here.
Credits
The introductory lines are from "Taffeta," So to Speak, Penguin Books. Copyright 2023 Terrance Hayes. Used by permission.
Thanks to Rebecca, Alison, and all the wonderful staff at Seattle Arts & Lectures for inviting me to partner and cultivating such excellent poetry community.
Thanks to Terrance for his deeply present presence, for saying yes, and for loving so many other poet's prints. And thanks to Anya of Blue Flower Arts for easing all logistics.
